Do not expect the other party to give you all you need. Love is an experience that should fill us with joy and not a replacement for loving ourselves.
Once you are able to resolve the pain of past experiences, will you be able to regain your self-worth and the belief that you are worthy of affection.
To usher more love into your life, release all expectations about what it should be and start to open yourself up to all that it is.
When you are able to accept yourself for what you are, and those around you, for instance family members, friends or potential partners, can your heart open to a deeper understanding of what it is, rather than a desire for what it isn’t.
Are you clear about your own deepest vulnerabilities when you are out there seeking for a partner? Reason I ask this is because if you are not clear about them, chances are that you are likely to choose the wrong partner.
Most of us initially become infatuated with a mate for a variety of reasons and idealise that person for months or even years. However, when you discover the incompatibilities of the other person, you may fall out of love. It is a well known fact that the qualities that attracted both people in the first instance, that will ultimately drive both of them away.
Hence identifying your relationship values is critical. During the first few dates, you will need to observe the clues that indicate those values.
For instance, does he look into your eyes, sit close to you, take your arm? This may signal confidence and a need for connection.
Does he comment on your appearance? This means he shows his appreciation.
Does he show emotional support when you talk about dilemma?
Does he involve you in decision-making? This would reveal his measure of trustworthiness in you.
Does he talk about his ex-partners with respect? Is he an honest person?
Have you been struggling to attract the kind of relationship you want into your life?
Do you realise that your greatest barrier to forming and keeping genuine love… is an unloved part of you.
If you don’t have the love you want in your life, it’s usually because you are not loving or facing a part of you.
This could due to
– a tendency to obsess or worry, to how you feel about your body
– a personality trait you’re not too fond of.
– difficulty to love your anger, your quirkiness
– self doubt that you are not built for love or fundamentally flawed
Here’s the secret…
If you don’t love yourself deeply, you are always looking for someone else to do it for you, hoping the
unloved part of you will just go away. You are demanding from others the love you are not giving to yourself.
You are simply attracting other people who don’t love themselves either!
And since deep inside we don’t believe we deserve to be loved completely, we end up pushing away the very love we want.
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Love is Just a Click Away
Thought I share the following with you:
What are the 3 things in life that would destroy a relationship
During an argument, if you find yourself at fault, it is perfectly alright to admit your mistake without losing face. However, if your pride is getting in the way, it becomes a block in your relationship with others.
If you are greedy, you are only seeking self-gratification. You do not put others first in your life.
It is OK to be angry with someone if there is a reason for it. But if you are a walking time-bomb, then it is important that you seek profession help.
Love like everything else around us, is energy.
Everyone has a different level of energy, vibration and frequency.
The question to ask is: “How is your energy level in in attracting the kind of relationship that
you desire in your life?” Positivity, hope and confidence are high energy levels in helping you to get there.
You will need to be realistic too in your level of expectations about the other party. Have you got what it takes?
What are the values that you have that will attract that special someone into your life?
Are you also aware that mental and emotional blockages can prevent you from achieving your desired goal?
These include negative attitude, anger, holding on to the past , fear of rejection and what if it does not work out?
Unfortunately for many of us, we spend too much unproductive time carrying on an internal dialogue
within us which is like a broken record. The past is not you unless you want to be there.
In order to get past all these negativities and blockades, you will need to focus on what
you really want in your life. Instead, channel your positive energy into the area that will bring
greater joy and happiness to you.
Hang out with people who are happy, successful and motivated. Let their level of energy
inspire and motivate you. Befriend them and share their success stories.
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Are you interested to know how to keep your love alive?
Here are the following tips given to me by a great friend of mine:
Be responsible for yourself – be a grown up running your own life
Be best friends – Pay attention to details about your partner. Get
to know their quirks and preferences, their goals and challenges.
Notice the positive. Foster the positive aspects of the relationship
by focusing on what’s good about each other.
Little moments count – life is made of these. Make an effort to do little
things for each other. Express affection regularly and generously.
Work as a team. You need to pull together. Have shared dreams and goals that you
work towards and allow for differences. Respect each other’s opinions
instead of being dogmatic about your own. Listen and compromise.
Accept that there will be conflicts even in a most loving relationship.
Be honest even about difficult issues. It is the way you deal with them that
makes the difference.
Schedule time for fun and play. Have a laugh together, find things you enjoy
Celebrate your love in your own idiosyncratic way.
A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage.
She replied “Sacrificing the admiration of a hundred guys to face the criticism of one idiot”.
Do you remember the experience of your first date? Was it hilarious or just a nightmare?
Whatever it is, just accept that joys and disasters are all part of the game.
Whenever I recall the experience of my first date, I just could not refrain myself from having a chuckle.
I met this guy at the workplace. He and I got along really well and one day he asked me out for dinner.
It proved to be a most embarrassing experience in my life.
I wore a pair of new spanking shoes that night. Whilst walking through the park, my right leg happened to
kick against a stone, and the button that secured the bow of the shoe just disappeared. Realising this,
I was just too nervous and embarrassed to carry on with the conversation.
My date sensed something wrong and enquired about me. But I was tight lipped thoughout the whole evening, leaving him quite puzzled and frazzled by my sudden change of mood.
In hindsight, I should have said something funny and laugh it off to ease the tension.
By the way, you might wish to surprise your lovely Valentine with something saucy: